"Alright, Hels? How's the heart today?"
That's her nick-name, Hels. Her real name is Helen. So, I suppose it's not really a nick-name, just an abbreviation. She is my sister. We both know, too, that there's nothing wrong with her heart; it's a euphemism for her mind. She's always been quite a ebullient person but there has always been the slight hint that the effervescence is the tiniest bit forced and that the golden bubbles on the surface are an attempt to hide a certain cloudiness below, even from herself.
For few months she has not acknowledged problems, she has surrounded herself with people that don't discuss important things with her or challenge her opinion, at all. There have been massive family issues that we've all been trying the cope with and she just won't talk, just cuts the conversation off or leaves the room or cries so that we are forced to change the subject. So much burying.
It didn't come to any good, avoiding things. She had a panic attack at work, thought she was having some kind of seizure and now she can't stop shaking. I know there is a clawing in the pit of her stomach, night and day, and the fear will not give her a moment's peace. That is how it works, the fear: the feeling that she has lost control and can't see a way out of the void.
Time up.
Inspiration: I forgot to post this yesterday. So this is my instalment for yesterday. I hoped to capture the idea that bottling up problems is not good and the effect it can have on the mind.
That's her nick-name, Hels. Her real name is Helen. So, I suppose it's not really a nick-name, just an abbreviation. She is my sister. We both know, too, that there's nothing wrong with her heart; it's a euphemism for her mind. She's always been quite a ebullient person but there has always been the slight hint that the effervescence is the tiniest bit forced and that the golden bubbles on the surface are an attempt to hide a certain cloudiness below, even from herself.
For few months she has not acknowledged problems, she has surrounded herself with people that don't discuss important things with her or challenge her opinion, at all. There have been massive family issues that we've all been trying the cope with and she just won't talk, just cuts the conversation off or leaves the room or cries so that we are forced to change the subject. So much burying.
It didn't come to any good, avoiding things. She had a panic attack at work, thought she was having some kind of seizure and now she can't stop shaking. I know there is a clawing in the pit of her stomach, night and day, and the fear will not give her a moment's peace. That is how it works, the fear: the feeling that she has lost control and can't see a way out of the void.
Time up.
Inspiration: I forgot to post this yesterday. So this is my instalment for yesterday. I hoped to capture the idea that bottling up problems is not good and the effect it can have on the mind.
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I would really welcome constructive comments or perhaps even some inspiration. To be honest , I would settle for some encouragement.